Divorce is rarely a sudden decision. You have probably been thinking about making this kind of move for months or maybe even for years. Creating imaginary debates in your head, convincing yourself to stay with them. But, once you find yourself in a situation where the divorce is inevitable, planning and preparing is your friend.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter why or how you started to pull away from each other, it is still painful to finalize the decision of divorce. It feels like you are just leaving your own life away and starting from scratch. It seems lonely, scary and unstable, but when you are left with no other choice, you have to do it.
So, you’ve talked with your partner and have decided that it is time for a divorce, what’s next? Well, you will probably start flooding your head with all kinds of thoughts. About the costs, your children, where you will live, will all of this be too much for your family and a bunch of other thoughts that cause stress and pressure.
You will also be faced with the need to make a decision about which lawyer to hire, whether you should trust your partner and a bunch of other legal complications. To deal with this rationally and to help yourself emotionally, you may consider hiring a divorce coach.
What is a divorce coach?
Moving from a happy life with a spouse into a world where all of your belongings and money is split into two and without a soulmate to emotionally support you, can be overwhelming. With the support of a professional who has helped hundreds of couples who have been in the same situation as you are in right now, you will be able to find stable ground.
A divorce coach is a navigator of sorts. They help you plan your journey. They can help because they have been down the path dozens of times with others. A divorce coach may be a therapist, a mediator, a financial planner, or an attorney. They come in all different forms.
Such a coach will be able to direct you from one side of your life into another. Of course, they won’t be able to heal all of your emotional wounds or magically fix you, but they can make the transition a bit more bearable. Here are some reasons why you should consider this as an option.
1. You need an objective opinion
It’s quite normal that you feel angry at your partner because he/she gave up on your marriage and a bunch of other extreme emotions that can influence your decisions and opinions. But, once you enter this loop of sadness and anger, you will not be able to form an objective and unbiased opinion on the situation. Of course, you could always ask your friends or your close family members to help you rationalize the situation, but they will probably be biased against your partner too.
Fortunately, a divorce coach can be the person in your life who will provide you with the most objective opinion on your situation. They can provide you with realistic information that can help you form a real opinion that is not clouded by anger. This way, when you are going through a trial, everything can go smoothly. You should focus on what is important and your future. There is no point dwelling on the past.
2. Form a plan to secure your future
There is a chance that after a divorce you will need to find a new place to stay, buy new furniture, and budget your monthly expenses differently. Before the judge decides who will take the house and how the belongings will be split between you and your partner, you should form a plan. The experts at rightlawyers.com explain that a divorce coach will provide you with advice on forming a plan that will provide you with a better future. Planning life after your divorce is important. Divorce is a dramatic paradigm shift. The spouses who have planned and prepped for the change do much better than those who don’t.
3. They can help you at any time
Another great reason why someone should consider hiring this kind of coach is the fact that they can answer all of your questions any time you want. A lawyer might do the same thing, but they will charge you for every extra hour you spend their time.
The divorce coach will provide you with an honest answer and objective view of the situation, no matter what you ask them. This is a much better alternative than surfing the internet and searching for answers.
4. You won’t have to do everything alone
When you are faced with such a difficult situation, you will probably be an emotional wreck, financially unstable and you won’t know what you should do. You are probably less efficient at work because you constantly feel tired, your appetite is not as high as it used to be and a bunch of other problems that can pile up.
This much stress can make you depressed and you simply forget or do not care about yourself or your surroundings. This can cause you a lot of problems in the future. So, if you do not want to become so unstable, you should either consult with your friends or hire a divorce coach that will help you throughout the entire process.
5. Cheaper than a lawyer
It is important to understand that a divorce coach and a lawyer are two very different occupations. One is going to help you go through the divorce and prepare you for life after. The other is helping you with the legal process of going through a divorce. Sometimes the lawyer has the skill set to be your life coach. But not always.
Bottom line is you may need to lean on someone, other than your lawyer. Someone who is has been there and done that, someone who is a good listener, and someone who can help you plan for your new life.